Soul Switching
by SeraphAngel
Summary: The Jyuunishi wake up one day to discover that they are not themselves… -anime-verse- -ON HIATUS-
1. Uh Oh

Author's Note: This fanfic is based on one of my friend's ideas. I think it's funny. Tell me if you do too. It's based on the anime. 

Title: Soul Switching

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Spoilers for the series… I don't know what parts of the manga I have spoilers for.

Summary: The Jyuunishi wake up one day to discover that they are not themselves… 

Disclaimer: Don't we all wish that we owned the fantastic _Fruits Basket? _But alas… it cannot be…

Setting: This story is set after the anime series.

*** = setting change

__

italics = emphasis

__

italics = thoughts

~Uh-Oh…~

It was a nice, normal day in the house of Shigure Sohma. Or so it seemed… 

The household was awakened by a bloodcurdling scream. Kyo Sohma, Shigure Sohma, and Tohru Honda hurried out of their rooms to investigate the matter. The cry had come from Yuki's room. The three opened the door slowly. 

Yuki was sitting up in bed, running his fingers through his hair. "My hair—my beautiful hair," he wailed. "What happened to it?"

Tohru came into the room. "Yuki-kun? There's nothing wrong with your hair."

"But it's so short! And—" he paused. "What did you call me?"

"Yuki-kun," Tohru replied, puzzled. What was wrong with calling him Yuki-kun? She always called him that. 

"Wait a minute. What am I even doing here? I didn't come to visit." The teenage boy's purple eyes flicked upward to meet Tohru's blue ones. "Tohru-kun, why did you call me Yuki? I'm Ayame."

"A-ya?!"

Tohru and Ayame (in Yuki's body) turned toward the doorway. Shigure was the only one in the house who called Ayame that. But just now, the nickname had been spoken in Kyo's voice. 

"Gure-san?" Ayame-Yuki ventured. 

"Yes?" Shigure (in Kyo's body) answered. 

Shigure and Kyo looked at each other. "I think something is terribly wrong," Shigure-Kyo said. 

Kyo-Shigure's eyes were wide open in shock. 

Tohru fainted. 

*** 

__

Ring, ring. Yuki got up out of bed and rubbed his eyes. He headed for the phone, following the sound of the ringing. Where was everyone? Tohru and Kyo were always up before him. Why wasn't one of them answering the phone? 

He finally reached it. "Moshi moshi," he said sleepily. That was weird. His voice sounded different. 

"Yuki-kun?" a timid female voice answered. 

"Honda-san?" Why was Tohru calling him on the phone? Wasn't she in the house? (AN: Yes, Tohru has recovered.)

"Yuki-kun, have you noticed something… strange?"

"No…" 

A different voice spoke. "Hey, kuso nezumi! Wake up and look at yourself!"

"Shigure?" Was he out of the house too? Shigure never talked like that though… Baffled, Yuki forced his eyes open and looked down at himself. Funny. He wasn't wearing what he had been wearing when he went to sleep…He scratched his head. Wait a second. Yuki pulled a strand of long, whitish-silver hair out in front of him. He said into the phone, "What—what is—?" 

Then he heard his own voice. "Hey, little brother! What's up?"

*** 

Tohru stared at the three males standing in the kitchen. "So you are Shigure-san, you are Kyo-kun, and you are Ayame-san," she said pointing to the bodies of Kyo, Shigure, and Yuki, respectively. They all nodded. "And Yuki-kun is in Ayame-san's body."

Ayame-Yuki winced. "To think what my little brother could be doing that would ruin my image."

Kyo-Shigure snorted. "Ruin what image? The image of you prancing around like a fool?"

Ayame-Yuki chose to ignore that. 

The phone rang. Tohru answered it. 

"I'm so sorry to be bothering you," came the panicked voice on the line. "Sumimasen. You must be doing something terribly important—"

"Hatori-san?" Tohru asked, recognizing the voice. 

"Gomen nasai! I am such a horrible person! I have stolen Hatori nii-san's body! Gomen nasai!"

Shigure-Kyo overheard the last part and declared, "Rit-chan must be in Hatori's body."

Ayame-Yuki smiled. "Oh, Gure-san, you're so smart."

"Thank you, A-ya," Shigure-Kyo replied. "You're my inspiration, you know." 

"Stop it!" Kyo-Shigure yelled. It was bad enough when Shigure and Ayame were in their normal bodies. Having to watch himself and Yuki flirting was too much.

"Oh, come on, Kyon-kyon," Ayame-Yuki drawled. "We were just having a little fun."

"Not in my body, you aren't," Kyo said, glaring at Shigure-Kyo. 

Meanwhile, Tohru was trying to calm down Ritsu-Hatori. "Rit-chan-san, don't worry. I'm sure we'll figure this out soon." 

"But Hatori nii-san will be angry with me for stealing his body!"

"Just stay calm. I'm sorry, Rit-chan-san. I have to go to school now." 

"I'm sorry! I'm making you late! Gomen nasai!" Ritsu-Hatori said.

"Bye!" 

Tohru turned to Shigure-Kyo and Ayame-Yuki. "Even if there _is_ something wrong, we still need to go to school." 

"School?" Ayame-Yuki said. 

"_High _school?" Shigure-Kyo said. _High school girls!_ "Come on, A-ya! High school girls are waiting for us!" 

Ayame-Yuki put on a sad puppy dog face. "Aww… Gure-san, don't you love me anymore?" 

"Of course I do, A-ya. But there's plenty of my love to go around." 

Kyo-Shigure sweatdropped. 

*** 

Ayame-Yuki, Shigure-Kyo, and Tohru arrived at Kaibara High School. They entered the classroom. 

Arisa Uotani and Saki Hanajima came up to Tohru. They greeted each other. Before they could say anything else, however, their attention was drawn to the other side of the classroom. 

"What? What did I say?" Shigure-Kyo asked, putting a hand to his face. He was standing in front of a girl, who was looking quite furious. 

"Ooh…" Ayame-Yuki was sitting on top of a desk. "Gu—Kyo, you should know better."

"Shut up, Aya—uh, Yuki." 

Saki said to Tohru and Arisa, "Something is different today. I can feel it." 

"Obviously," Arisa replied. "Orange-head just talked to a girl. Voluntarily."

Tohru grinned nervously. She was about to go to her seat when she noticed two familiar faces at the door. "Hatsuharu-san! Momiji-kun!" She went over to them. 

Momiji said to her, "We need to talk to Yun-chan and Kyo-kun, right now." 

Tohru blinked. "Why?" 

"Onee-chan, it's very important," Haru said. He looked different. His shirt was buttoned all the way and he wasn't wearing any jewelry.

"Huh?" The only person who called Tohru onee-chan was… Kisa! Uh-oh. Tohru whispered, "Did… something happen to you two this morning?" 

They both nodded gravely. Tohru quickly got Ayame-Yuki and Shigure-Kyo and left the classroom. 

*** 

Tohru, Shigure-Kyo, Ayame-Yuki, and the bodies of Haru and Momiji were standing in a deserted hallway. 

"Momiji-kun," Tohru started. 

"I'm Kagura," Kagura-Momiji said. 

"Oh, right. Sorry, Kagura-san." 

"That's okay." 

Kisa-Haru sighed. "Shigure no oji-chan, Ayame no oji-chan, what are we going to do?" 

Shigure-Kyo shrugged. Ayame-Yuki struck a pose and said, "Don't worry! I'm sure I'll find a way out of this!" 

Everyone sweatdropped. It was so weird to see Yuki posing like that, even when they knew that Ayame was in possession of his body. 

"Tohru-kun," Kagura-Momiji said, "who else has… changed?" 

"Well, Rit-chan-san called this morning. He seems to have taken over Hatori-san's body," Tohru replied. "If this is going how I think it is going, that means that Hatori-san is in Rit-chan-san's body, Yuki-kun is in Ayame-san's body, Momiji-kun is in your body, and Hatsuharu-san is in Kisa-san's body. Oh, and Kyo-kun is in Shigure-san's body."

"Kyo-kun?" Kagura-Momiji asked, excited.

Tohru nodded. She turned to Ayame-Yuki and Shigure-Kyo. "We should go to class. We'll be late otherwise." 

"Wait!" Kagura-Momiji said. "What classes are we supposed to go to?"

Tohru gave Kagura-Momiji and Kisa-Haru directions, then went back to class with Shigure-Kyo and Ayame-Yuki. "Now remember, we just have to act natural."

Ayame-Yuki opened the door and said loudly so everyone in the room could hear, "I'm back! Did you all miss me? Of course you did!" 

Several people blinked in confusion. 

"You all must have been _so_ bored while I was gone! But worry no more, because I have returned!" Ayame-Yuki winked at Tohru. 

"So… wanna go out with me?" Shigure-Kyo asked, sidling up to the same girl he had asked earlier.

*** 

Hatori Sohma was standing in front of his closet, trying to figure out what had happened to his clothes. _Why are they all girl clothes? _he asked himself. _And why do they look so familiar…? _

He peered closer, then realized that something was different. His hair wasn't covering his left eye, like it usually was. He put his hand to his head and touched his hair. It was longer. _It couldn't have grown that fast_, he thought. Then he looked at it and realized it was a different color. He looked into the closet again.

__

Oh no. 

*** 

Hatsuharu Sohma had awakened to find that his soul inhabited the body of a twelve-year-old girl. In fact, the body was Kisa Sohma's body. He had been very confused. If he was in Kisa's body, who was in his? And where was Kisa if she wasn't in her own body? 

So Haru decided to go to school, because even though something strange was obviously going on, he couldn't make Kisa miss school. She had missed plenty when she ran away. 

Haru-Kisa was standing just inside the classroom, wondering where Kisa's seat was. He/she went over to a group of girls and asked, "Do you know where my seat is?" 

They looked at Haru-Kisa strangely as one of them pointed to a desk. Then, as he/she headed in that direction, they started giggling and smirking. 

"She's so stupid," one of them said, not even attempting to whisper. "She can't even find her own seat." 

Haru-Kisa overheard and his/her blood began to boil. 

"Yeah, I know," another girl replied. "I mean, she sits there everyday. How dumb is she?" 

"Really dumb, I guess," replied the first girl. 

Haru-Kisa was really angry. What was the matter with those girls? Kisa was nice and sweet and would never hurt anyone. Why did they dislike her so much? _Idiots. Kisa doesn't deserve to go through this everyday. _He/she suddenly didn't feel like laying low and not drawing attention to himself/herself. He/she stepped up to the first girl and tapped her on the shoulder. 

The girl turned around and said with a sneer, "What do _you _want?" 

"I want you to shut up." Haru-Kisa had a dangerous look in his/her eyes.

"What did you say?" the girl asked, shocked. 

"Shut up." 

"Why should I listen to you? You're just a stupid little girl anyway." 

Haru-Kisa slapped her (AN: Oh, look. It's Black Kisa…). "You are a disgrace to the human race, did you know that? You think _I'm _stupid? You're the stupid one! You idiot! You moron! You bi—!" 

"What's going on here?" 

Haru-Kisa looked up to see Kisa's teacher looking at him/her. _Oops. _

*** 

Yuki-Ayame did not want to go to Ayame's shop. But he had to keep up appearances, so he did. 

He entered the shop, wearing the most conservative thing he could find in Ayame's closet. That had been a challenge. Yuki's older brother was not known for being conservative. 

"Tencho?" 

Yuki-Ayame looked up to see Mine Kuramae, Ayame's assistant, standing in front of him, smiling. "Kuramae-san. Good morning." 

Mine tilted her head. "Why are you calling me Kuramae-san? You always call me Mine." 

"Oh, right." 

"Tencho, try this one on," Mine said, handing Yuki-Ayame a dress. "I need to see if it's straight." 

"I'm—I'm sure it's fine," he replied nervously. He did _not _want to wear that dress. 

Mine said, "You have to try it on! I have to make sure everything's in place!" She pushed him into a dressing room. 

Yuki-Ayame stared at the dress. When he got his own body back, Ayame was going to suffer. 

*** 

Momiji-Kagura was sitting in Kagura's room, trying to figure out what to do. When Momiji had woken up that morning, he found that he was taller, his hair was darker and longer, and he was a girl. He/she had screamed, but of course, that hadn't solved anything.

He/she tried calling Hatori. "Hari, are you there? It's Momiji. I'm in Kagura's body somehow and I—"

"Momiji-kun! Sumimasen! This isn't Hatori nii-san. I'm Ritsu. I'm such a disgrace! You wanted to reach him, but you're talking to me instead! Gomen nasai!" 

Momiji-Kagura hung up the phone. 

*** 

"Sensei!" 

Kyo-Shigure was having a hard time at home trying to get away from Mit-chan. Apparently, Shigure had yet again promised to meet a deadline. Unfortunately, Kyo-Shigure just couldn't seem to find the draft that Mit-chan wanted. So, he was trying to avoid her by finding a good hiding place. However, Mit-chan knew most of Shigure's hiding places already, since Shigure had hidden from her in the house several times. 

Kyo-Shigure got an idea. He climbed up on the roof and lay there, dressed in Shigure's house clothes. It felt strange to him, but none of his own clothes would fit Shigure's body. Anyway, Kyo-Shigure was lying on the roof (AN: Funny thought, isn't it? Shigure lying on the roof…) when Mit-chan spotted him. 

"Sensei! Sensei, give me the draft!" Mit-chan ran to get a ladder. 

Kyo-Shigure groaned. 

*** 

Ritsu-Hatori was treating a patient. He was trying very hard to keep his hands steady as he gave the little Sohma girl a shot. 

"Ow!" the girl cried when the needle entered her skin. 

"I'm so sorry!" Ritsu-Hatori said, pulling it out. "Gomen nasai! You must be in terrible pain! I'm so sorry that I hurt you!" 

The little girl watched the doctor's antics. He had always been calm and steady. Now he was all nervous and hyper. 

"Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai!" 

The little girl sweatdropped. "Mommy!" she cried, running out the door. 

"I'm sorry I scared you! I'm very sorry! I'm sorry to the entire world! The universe!" 

*** 

Kisa-Haru stared at the textbook in front of her/him. _Just don't think about it, _she/he told herself. _Ignore it. _

She/he had been holding in the urge to go to the bathroom for over an hour now. She/he really didn't want to go into the boy's restroom. That would just be weird. And it would ruin her image of her cousin Haru. 

Still, she/he knew that she/he couldn't hold it in much longer or else she/he'd have a whole new set of problems to deal with. She/he timidly raised her/his hand and asked for permission to go to the restroom. 

__

Just don't look, she thought. _Do not look. Just go. And don't drink anything for a while._

*** 

Ayame-Yuki flounced into the room, having just been to the bathroom. It was lunchtime. He had forgotten how much fun high school had been. But now that he was reliving the experience, he was remembering all the good times he had had with Hatori and Shigure back in the day. _Too bad Tori-san didn't get switched with someone here, _he thought. He flopped down next to Shigure-Kyo, who was once again trying to get a girl's attention. 

"Go away," Shigure-Kyo muttered. 

"What?" Ayame-Yuki asked, leaning in close to hear. 

"Go away." 

"Oh." He looked at the girl sitting on the other side of Shigure-Kyo. "I think he wants you to go away." 

The girl gave him a strange look, then got up and left. 

"A-ya!" Shigure-Kyo whined. "Why did you do that?" It was strange to see Kyo whining. 

"What?" Ayame-Yuki asked, clueless. "Are you angry with me, Gure-san?" 

Shigure-Kyo crossed his arms and looked away, settling into the classic Kyo position. "Maybe." 

"Aww… I'm sorry." Ayame-Yuki gave him a big hug. 

*** 

Meanwhile, the Yuki fanclub was on the other side of the room, watching Yuki, of course. They all freaked out when they saw their wonderful Prince Yuki hugging Kyo. 

"Something is definitely wrong." 

*** 

Tohru was trying to enjoy her lunch—emphasis on the trying. Ayame-Yuki came over to her. "Tohru-kun, I'm bored. Talk to me." 

"Aya—" She spotted Arisa and Saki looking at her. "Yuki-kun, we can talk later." 

"Hmm…" Ayame turned to Saki. "So… how are you?" 

"I'm fine," she replied mysteriously. "But you are very different today." 

Ayame blinked. "Yeah, I think it's my hair. Do you think I should grow it out? My ultra cool, very stylish, beautiful, perfect older brother has gorgeous hair. It's really nice." Ayame-Yuki paused, looking down at his clothes. "You know what? The uniform I—I mean, my brother—had in high school is better than this one. It looked good on almost anyone! And—"

Arisa said to Tohru, "I think the prince is sick or something." 

Tohru could only nod, speechless. 

*** 

Hatori-Ritsu was dressed. He had found the least feminine thing in Ritsu's closet and was ready to go to his own office. He had called ahead to see, and yes, Ritsu _had _taken over his body. So, now he was going to see if he could fix this. Ritsu-Hatori had told him that some of the others had changed too. 

Ritsu was just going to have to miss class today because Hatori was the best bet to help get everyone back to normal. He was the family doctor, after all. Ritsu could apologize to his professors later. And no matter how much Ritsu looked up to him, Ayame was _not _going to be a big help. 

*** 

Yuki-Ayame was wearing a dress. Oh, the humanity!

Okay, _so_ the dress looked good on him. _So _the garment emphasized his golden eyes and made his hair look shinier. It was still degrading. Ahem. 

Mine was standing there looking at him. "Perfect," she declared. 

Yuki-Ayame grunted, and then went to go take off the dress. 

When he came back out, Mine handed him an outfit that needed to be altered. "We have lots of work to do, tencho," she chirped happily. 

__

Why me? 

*** 

Kagura-Momiji wanted to leave. She/he wanted to see Kyo. Okay, so she/he had _seen _him, but it was Shigure who was inside his body. It wasn't the same. 

She/he sighed. Poor Kyo. He was at home all alone with no one to keep him company. 

She/he glanced at Kisa-Haru, who had finally come back from the bathroom. 

"Was it scary?" she/he whispered.

Kisa-Haru nodded and looked straight ahead. "I stood outside it for a long time," she/he said softly, like she did when she was in her own body. "Then I went in and…" She/he shuddered. 

Ack. Just her luck. Why did Kagura have to get switched with a boy? And if it had to be a boy, why couldn't it have been Kyo?

*** 

Shigure was not a quitter. Well, maybe for some things. But Shigure-Kyo was determined to get a date. And he would have one by the end of the day. He just _had_ to. 

Or maybe not. It wasn't going so well. He put his head on Ayame-Yuki's shoulder. "A-ya, I think I'm losing my touch."

"Oh, Gure-san, it's okay. I still love you." 

"I know, but I still want to get a date. It's hard. These girls are tough." 

"Really?" Ayame-Yuki stood. "All right, I'll try." He addressed the rest of the room. "Okay, who wants to go out with me tomorrow night?" 

Most of the girls in the classroom excitedly raised their hands. 

"Okay, thank you! That was just a test." Ayame-Yuki sat back down, ignoring the many protests of the girls. "See? It's not that hard," he told Shigure-Kyo. 

Shigure-Kyo sighed. "It's always you. Even when you're Yuki, it's still you." Ayame always got more attention than he did. It wasn't fair. 

"Eh?" 

The door opened and the principal came into the room. "Hello, students," he said. Apparently, he had come for a surprise inspection. Well, that, and he was bored. 

Ayame-Yuki elbowed Shigure-Kyo. "That man looks familiar." 

Shigure-Kyo looked up. "He looks like the teacher who told you to cut your hair."

"Yeah… Hey, it _is_ him! I think I'll go say hello!" 

"Just remember that you're supposed to be Yuki," Shigure-Kyo said, looking very bummed out. 

Ayame-Yuki pranced over to the principal. 

"Oh, hello, Yuki," said the principal.

"I think you had me—I mean, my brother—as a student once." 

"Your brother?" 

"Yes, my brother. He's so amazing. And he was really popular at his school." 

The principal was starting to look nervous. "When was your brother in school?" 

"About ten years ago." 

"And he went to a different school?" The principal was starting to look sweaty. 

Ayame-Yuki nodded. "He was the class president too." 

The principal was staring off into space. He wasn't thinking about the present. He wasn't looking at the boy whom he assumed was Yuki. All he could think about was a loud, silver-haired teenage boy who had graduated from a different high school a decade ago. "Ayame Sohma." 

Ayame-Yuki smiled proudly. "That's my brother." 

The principal looked at him. "Of course. Your name is Sohma. Why didn't I see it before? You look like him too." He glanced at Shigure-Kyo, who had his head on the desk in his best depressed-Kyo position. "And him. He's a Sohma too. There are more of you in this school." He stepped backward and looked around as if all the Sohmas were surrounding him. "I left that school to get away from the Sohmas, but you've followed me here. Why?!" 

Ayame-Yuki replied, "I don't know. We're weird like that. I think it's karma. My brother said that you _unfairly _told him to cut his hair once. It's coming back to you now. It's your own fault, you see. And—" He kept babbling on for a few minutes like that, not noticing that the principal was running away—far, far away. 

Finally, it was time for class to begin again. 

*** 

Kyo-Shigure was relieved when Shigure-Kyo, Ayame-Yuki, and Tohru came home from school. Mit-chan had climbed up on the roof to get to him. Kyo-Shigure had jumped off the roof. However, not being used to Shigure's body, he hit the ground hard instead of absorbing the impact like he usually did. But he got down safely, more or less. He had taken the ladder away just so Mit-chan couldn't chase him anymore. 

Well, now Mit-chan was standing at the edge of the roof, threatening to jump, much like Ritsu had when Tohru had met him.

"Hmm," said Shigure-Kyo when he saw the woman on the roof. "_That's _new." 

"Ah!" Tohru ran to fetch a ladder. 

"Just get her down!" Kyo-Shigure screeched. "We already have enough strange things going on here! We don't need to add a suspicious death to the list!" 

"All right, all right," Shigure-Kyo replied. "No need to get so anxious. Just tell her that you found the draft." 

"Why should I tell her?!" Kyo-Shigure demanded. 

"Because you're in my body," Shigure-Kyo said matter-of-factly. "It would be weird for me to tell her that, considering I look like you at the moment." 

"Gure-san has a point there, Kyon-kyon," Ayame-Yuki said, popping up from out of nowhere. He slung an arm around Shigure-Kyo's neck. "Gure-san's a genius, you know." 

"Why, thank you, A-ya," Shigure-Kyo said. 

"I never want to lose you," Ayame-Yuki said, gazing lovingly into Shigure-Kyo's eyes. "You're smart and nice and wonderful and—"

"So are you," Shigure-Kyo answered. "I've known that since the day we met." 

Kyo-Shigure sweatdropped as the two of them put their hands together, thumbs up, and said "Yosh!" _That_ had been a disturbing sight. To see Yuki and himself looking at each other like that was just wrong. He shuddered. Then he looked up at the edge of the roof, where a very nervous-looking Mit-chan was standing. "Mit-chan!" he called. "I—I found it!" 

Mit-chan's face brightened considerably. "Really?" 

The next thing Kyo-Shigure knew, Mit-chan was standing right next to him, looking up at him expectantly. "How—how did you—?"

"How did I what?" 

"Never mind." He gave Shigure-Kyo a go-find-it-now look. 

Apparently, Shigure-Kyo was not good at reading people's expressions, because he just stood there, not trying to find the manuscript or anything. Ayame-Yuki whispered into his ear. "_Oh_," Shigure-Kyo said as realization dawned on him. "I'll be right back. Excuse me!" 

Tohru came back then, holding the ladder. She looked at Mit-chan, then at the roof, then back at Mit-chan. She felt a bit foolish holding a ladder when there was no need for one. So she smiled sheepishly, then went to put the ladder back. 

*** 

Hiro stared at Kisa as he walked her home from school. She had been acting strange. "Why are you being so strange?" he asked. 

"Be quiet, Hiro. I have a headache," Haru-Kisa snapped. 

Hiro sniffed and looked the other way. If she was going to be that way, then fine. 

TO BE CONTINUED… 

Author's Note: What did you think? 


	2. The Plot Thickens

Author's Note: Argh, I dislike QuickEdit… Wow, I took a long time to write this chapter. I'm so sorry. Time gets away from me a lot. Before I know it, months have gone by and angry fanfiction readers are after my blood… Anyway, if you feel like forgiving me and continuing to read this story, then let me get out of your way.

Title: Soul Switching

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Spoilers for the series… I don't know what parts of the manga I have spoilers for.

Summary: The Jyuunishi wake up one day to discover that they are not themselves…

Disclaimer: Don't we all wish that we owned the fantastic _Fruits Basket? _But alas… it cannot be…

Setting: This story is set after the anime series.

!!! = setting change

_italics _= emphasis

-The Plot Thickens-

Ritsu-Hatori closed Hatori's office and placed the sign he had carefully written on the door. The sign said, "I apologize for my boldness, but I must leave early today."

He began walking toward Shigure's house. He needed to find help. If he had to stay in Hatori's body for much longer, he'd have to apologize nonstop for weeks before finally being able to feel unashamed.

!!!

After Mit-chan left (in tears), Shigure-Kyo, Kyo-Shigure, Ayame-Yuki, and Tohru sat down in the living room to discuss the matter at hand.

"I'm sick of this!" complained Kyo-Shigure. "How do we fix it?"

"I have no idea!" Shigure-Kyo said cheerfully. "But—"

Kyo-Shigure glared. "If you weren't in my body, I'd hurt you!"

"Then it's a good thing I am in your body, isn't it?"

Tohru looked at Ayame-Yuki. "Yuki—Ayame-san, do you know if this has ever happened in the family before?"

"No!" Ayame-Yuki said in the same cheerful manner that Shigure had used. "Although I did read a story once about a prince who switched places with a poor boy because he thought it would be fun, although I'm not sure why he thought that would be fun—it'd be infinitely better to be royalty, don't you agree, Tohru-kun? The two boys looked exactly alike, and they both thought that the other boy was luckier, so they switched clothes, and the prince went to play with the poor boy's friends while the poor boy had servants attending to him—" It was amazing how long the man could talk without taking a breath. This was a great feat, considering that he was in Yuki's body, which didn't have the best respiratory system in the world.

Just then, a Sohma with long hair burst into Shigure's house. Yes, of course it was Yuki-Ayame, silly.

"What's going on here?!" Yuki-Ayame demanded. "I woke up this morning to find myself in nii-san's body! And to make matters worse, Kuramae-san made me try on thousands of dresses! And look at my fingers!" he shouted. "I kept getting pricked on those needles! Luckily, I was able to prevent further injury to myself by closing the shop early!"

Ayame-Yuki jumped up and examined the Ayame-body's hands. "Oh, my hands! They're bleeding!" He glanced at Yuki-Ayame's choice of clothing, suddenly distracted. "Where did you get that outfit?" he asked. "That's not my style at all! Did you find it in the back of the closet? Those are all the ones that I never wear, you know—"

Yuki-Ayame was struggling not to strangle the Yuki-body. It would be dangerous to strangle his own body, but his brother _was _getting rather annoying…

"Calm down, Yuki-kun."

Yuki-Ayame glanced at the Kyo-body. "Don't make me hurt you."

Shigure-Kyo hid behind Tohru. "Remember, don't hit a lady."

Kyo-Shigure harrumphed. Suddenly, he heard the door open. The small blonde whom he knew as Momiji ran inside, heading for the Kyo-body. Shigure-Kyo, however, remembered that Kagura was in Momiji's body and redirected her/him to his own body, which was currently inhabited by Kyo.

"Kyo-kun!"

Oh, no. The only person who called his name in such a sickeningly sweet way was— "Kagura!"

"Shigure no oji-chan."

Shigure-Kyo turned at the sound of the soft male voice. "Ha—Saa-chan, come in." He smiled at his shy cousin and looked over at his own body, which was being pummeled by a small blonde boy. "Kagura, don't damage my body too much."

Kisa-Haru sat down next to Tohru in the living room.

!!!

"Tori-san!" Ayame-Yuki's delighted voice met the ears of everyone in the house.

Tohru turned toward the door. "Hatori-san."

Ritsu-Hatori immediately prostrated himself before the group. I apologize for making you all believe that I am Hatori nii-san! Gomen nasai! Please forgive me!" He paused, then continued, "No, you shouldn't! I don't deserve your forgiveness! I stole another person's body and—!" He was stopped by a poke in the ribs from who he believed was Kyo.

"Rit-chan," said Shigure-Kyo, "calm down."

Yuki's usually soft voice boomed, "Good to see you again, Rit-chan!"

Ritsu-Hatori's head snapped around immediately. "Yuki-san?" Ritsu-Hatori ventured timidly.

"No," sighed Yuki-Ayame. "I'm Yuki."

"Aya nii-san!"

"Yes?" replied Ayame-Yuki.

Ritsu-Hatori was very still for a moment. Then he fainted.

!!!

It was quiet. _Too _quiet. It was so quiet that the silence was destined to be broken by none other than—

"Hello, everyone! Shii-chan! Yuki! Kyo! _Tohruuuu_!"

Momiji-Kagura.

He/she skipped cheerfully into the house and immediately latched onto Tohru. "Tohru, I'm so happy! I can finally hug you without transforming!"

"Hey!" Kyo-Shigure pushed Momiji-Kagura to the ground. "Don't get any funny ideas." Before he could do anything else, he found himself crashing through the thin wall.

Kagura-Momiji was standing beside the Kagura-body, a menacing glare in her/his eyes. "Kyo-kun! How _dare _you injure my body!"

"You're the one injuring me!" Kyo-Shigure yelled back.

"Actually," Shigure-Kyo put in, "you're damaging _my_ body. And my house."

Kagura-Momiji returned to normal. "Gomen ne. I just got so angry that—"

"It's all right, Kagura!" Momiji-Kagura said perkily, bouncing up off the floor. "I'm okay! And your body is okay!"

Yuki-Ayame shook his head. "And I thought things were crazy already…"

!!!

"Hey." Hatori-Ritsu walked through the open front door, closing it behind him.

"Tori-san!" Ayame-Yuki jumped up, correctly identifying him.

Hatori-Ritsu recognized the nickname and said, "Ayame, sit down."

Ayame-Yuki immediately obeyed.

The others in the room sweatdropped.

Yuki-Ayame and Kyo-Shigure were glad that Hatori-Ritsu had arrived, since he was the only one who would be able to control Ayame-Yuki.

!!!

"Hey, inu!" the voice of Hiro could be heard from the front door. Some loud knocks followed the statement. "Why won't anyone answer the door? Are you all just too rude to answer when someone's trying to gain entrance into your house? Can you not even refuse politely? What if it was an emergency? What if—?"

"Hiro-san!" Tohru had finally made it to the door.

"Oh, it's you," the small boy said. He looked at the shorter figure beside him. "I brought Kisa. There's something wrong with her."

Tohru looked politely puzzled. "Hiro-san, you're—you're still you."

Hiro snapped. "Of course I'm me. Who else would I be? Are you stupid?"

Haru-Kisa bowed to Tohru before walking into the house.

Hiro followed him/her, saying, "She kept walking in the wrong direction on the way home, and then she insisted that I bring her here."

"Hiro-san," said Tohru. "There is a problem with the other Jyuunishi. They have all switched bodies with each other."

!!!

"Switched bodies?" Hiro said, entering the living room. "Isn't the curse already enough? Now this happens?"

"Hi-kun," Shigure-Kyo greeted him, "you're here."

"Of course I'm here! Do you think I'd abandon Kisa in that condition? Baka neko."

Kyo-Shigure twitched. "Hey, you little brat, I'm over here."

Hiro ignored him and chose a place to sit.

Shigure-Kyo found it interesting that, in the face of a crisis, the Sohma family members gathered at his house.

Momiji-Kagura was currently sucking on a lollipop. "Kagura, is your tongue red?" He stuck out his/her tongue.

Kagura-Momiji peered at her/his regular body. "It is," she/he nodded.

Momiji-Kagura offered her/him a piece of candy. "Tohru, would you like one too?"

Kyo-Shigure muttered, "That voice is annoying in both Momiji's and Kagura's bodies."

"What did you say?" Kagura-Momiji demanded, beginning to choke him.

"I said—you're—annoying! Momiji's annoying too!"

"Wah, Kyo is so mean to me!" wailed Momiji-Kagura.

"Don't you ever think before you speak?" Yuki-Ayame asked. He was still trying to get used to the feel of having long hair. It swished every time he moved.

Shigure-Kyo smiled perkily. "Kyo-kun always says the wrong thing."

Not helping the situation at all, Ayame-Yuki said, "Kyon-kichi-kun just doesn't understand the fine art of speech. I, on the other hand, have mastered—"

"Anou…"

Everyone stopped bickering for a moment and turned toward Tohru.

"Hiro-san is still normal."

Ten heads swiveled toward the sheep Jyuunishi.

"Don't you know it's rude to stare?" demanded Hiro. "It's not my fault if I'm the only one who hasn't been changed. I'm glad, though. I'd rather be myself than any of you."

"Did the other Jyuunishi change?" Kagura-Momiji asked.

"Neither of them switched bodies with any of you, so the uma and the ondori must have switched places with each other. Honestly, it's not that difficult to figure out," Hiro scoffed.

"Hiro," Hatori-Ritsu said sternly. Darn that feminine voice of Ritsu's!

Hiro turned away—silent, but unapologetic.

"I remembered once hearing a rumor about something like this happening," Hatori-Ritsu began. "But I didn't believe it until now. I have no idea how to get us out of this mess, but I'll search through the family history to find out if this has occurred before, and if so, how to resolve it."

"Would Akito-san know anything about this?" Tohru ventured.

The Jyuunishi pondered the question.

"Perhaps," said Yuki-Ayame, "but let's not tell him about this unless we absolutely have to. He'll—he'll be our last resort."

Everyone else nodded in agreement.

Shigure-Kyo held up a finger as if he had just made an important discovery. "Maybe Kazuma-dono would know something."

Hatori-Ritsu nodded, taking that into account.

"Kisa," Haru-Kisa said suddenly. "I'm sorry, but I accidentally got you in trouble."

His/her regular face looked at him in puzzlement.

"These girls in your class were making fun of you, so I turned Black."

Yuki-Ayame stared at him. "You turned Black in Kisa's body? Haru, that's dangerous. We all have to act like the person whose body we have. We can't let anybody become suspicious. There's already the danger of our changing into our zodiac animals."

"But—" Kisa-Haru began in a small voice. She faltered upon receiving everyone else's attention, but she continued, "I don't understand some of the lessons I had in school today."

"I have a suggestion," Tohru said. "The partners can switch homework after school and return it the next morning."

"Ritsu," said Hatori-Ritsu, another problem dawning on him. "Don't see any patients for a few days. If Akito wants to see me, then go to him. If he seems to be worse than usual, call me for instructions. Otherwise, just pretend to examine him and say that his condition is the same."

"I will do my best not to disappoint you!" Ritsu-Hatori declared. "However, I will probably mess up everything, so I will apologize in advance!" He ran crazily around the room, something that Hatori had never done in his life.

Hatori-Ritsu pulled out the pack of cigarettes he had bought on the way over. He was about to light one of the cigarettes when he was interrupted by the incredibly disturbing sight of his own face twisted in frenetic apology.

"Gomen nasai!" shouted Ritsu-Hatori, earning the stares of everyone else in the room. "Hatori nii-san, I apologize for causing you so much stress that you feel the urge to smoke! Ah!" Something occurred to him then. "I'm also extremely sorry for interrupting you! Please feel free to use my body, since I have stolen yours like a shameless bandit! I am so—!"

"Pi!"

Shigure-Kyo had sneaked up on the frantic Sohma and poked him in the ribs. Ritsu-Hatori immediately fell to the floor in a dead faint.

"Hmm," Shigure-Kyo said, looking at the Hatori-body. He looked at Hatori-Ritsu. "Haa-san, it works even when Rit-chan's in your body!" he announced gleefully.

"Honestly, if _this _is all we're going to do, then we might as well go home," said Hiro.

"Let's all go home and get some sleep," said Hatori-Ritsu. He wished he had his own voice back. Ritsu's voice didn't have quite as much authority as Hatori's did. "Try to act normal and don't draw attention to yourselves. The last thing we need is to have everyone accidentally changing into animals all over town."

A general rumble of agreement ran through the group, and those who didn't live in Shigure's house got up to leave.

The Jyuunishi needed to find a way to fix themselves soon. They'd drive themselves crazy if they had to stay in each other's bodies for much longer.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Author's Note: Dang, Ritsu is _fun _to write… He's hilarious. I hope everyone is in character. Reviews are greatly appreciated.


End file.
